Ah the joys of first aid training...
1. One of the questions on today's final "quiz/test" was:
If you come across someone who's received a laceration to the abdominal, and their intestines are protruding from their body cavity, what should you do:
a) Cover the intestines in a warm, damp, sterile cloth.
b) Gather the intestines, and push them back inside.
c) Pull the intestines further outside the body, and wipe them off.
2. My instructor is constantly referring to the laws of Ontario and Q-bec. Who says that? Q-bec... So. Annoying.
3. Transformers is a really good movie. This point is unrelated, but I'm watching it as I type this, and I thought it an important point to highlight.
4. There's a Ti-Cat in my class, and he's much too big for our wee university-lecture-hall-style seats. The three protein bars and giant protein shake he ate today aren't helping matters.
5. Instructor lady is a bit of a Penelope. For every condition we discuss, she's had a family member who's suffered from it: angina, congenital heart failure, amputation, chemical burn, and choking to death. She also regaled us with the story of her son's birth. She's 58, don't you know, and she had him late in life (43), which makes her the oldest mom at his baseball games, but she quit smoking when she was pregnant with him and hasn't looked back since, because she wants to be around for him, you know? And last week she joined Curves. She put 40 pounds on when her sister died last year of blood clots, and she just woke up on Monday and said, "I don't fit in my pants anymore." So she she went to Dominion, and Curves was right next door, and when she went inside she bought a membership, and yesterday was her first training session and usually she comes home and her son says "I need help with my homework" but last night she was too exhausted from her circuit training to even think about making dinner.
So don't feel sorry for her.
6. I get to wear pants without a waistband on a weekday.
6 comments:
What's the answer to the intestine question, and if someone's intestines are hanging out, do you really have a chance of saving him/her? I mean, really.
You should hit on the Ti-Cat, protein goods be-damned.
The answer to question #1 is (a). But good point, Pants. I'm sure his loose intestines are the least of his worries, and my moistening them with a maxi pad (the essential first aid kit sterile accessory) won't help much.
Cross your fingers no one at the library looses their bowels, k?
p.s. I'm already working the Ti-Cat. I am a season ticket holder, after all. And he really liked my donut bandage...
Moistening.
Maxi pad.
Ew.
Update: Instructor lady has already used personal stories to add affect to a condition 12 times. I've kept score via ticks on the inside of my manual. Also of note, we are 17 minutes overdue on our lunch, which means we will be at least 17 minutes late leaving today. If she'd shut it, I'd be home and in my pjs earlier than 5:00.
I also almost got in a fight with her today when she started harping on the evils of video games. How this relates to spinal injuries, I'm not sure, but she went on about it for ages.
Haven't you ever heard of Wii whiplash?
Sorry, make that 18 times she brought personal stories into the scenerios. Her son has apparently had every affliction known to man, and if I brought my child to the hospital as many times as she brought her kid, someone would probs charge me with child abuse.
Side note: for our discussion of multiple casualties and triage, she used the example of getting hit by lightning.
...
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The odds of being struck by lightning in a given year are 1:700,000. What do you suppose the odds of multiple people in the same general area getting struck by lightning? It's seriously hard NOT to laugh out loud. Especially when she says "Oh, Michael, can you give the certificates out? You're on top." And Michael screams out "That's what she said!"
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